Tuesday, January 10

Eloisa to Abelard

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;
Labour and rest, that equal periods keep;
"Obedient slumbers that can wake and weep;"
Desires compos'd, affections ever ev'n,
Tears that delight, and sighs that waft to Heav'n.
Grace shines around her with serenest beams,
And whisp'ring angels prompt her golden dreams.
For her th' unfading rose of Eden blooms,
And wings of seraphs shed divine perfumes,
For her the Spouse prepares the bridal ring,
For her white virgins hymeneals sing,
To sounds of heav'nly harps she dies away,
And melts in visions of eternal day.

Wow. Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind is such amazing movie. Fuck, It leaves you with such a good feeling of hope. Hope that theres someone else out there. That no matter what happens, you'll meet her. True love somewhere with someone. Its like nothing is perfect. There is something wrong with everyone, and even if it doesnt work out the experience means soo much more than never having it.  Just being able to accept someone, just saying, okay. How even though they fought in the end all of the good memories he had with her as he traveled though his mind made it so worth it all in the end. He didnt want to forget.

Wow. I wish it was easier to hold onto these feelings, and keep them with you everyday, but it fades so fast. When I wake up tomorrow morning the feelings will have faded, and it will just be a faint memory. Its good to watch these kinds of movies more often. Garden State is a good example. That movie makes me cry. Its not a sad cry though. Its a happy cry. Its amazing. Sometimes I want a movie like this to be my life. I wish people were filled will more mystery and emotion like the characters in these films. But compared to these movies out lives seem bland at times. I thought that once. But a very smart person cheered me up by pointing out that these movies take place in a time span of over a year sometimes all compressed down into two hours. If a year of any of our lives was compressed into two hours it would seem just like a movie. Everyone including myself needs to slow down and notice life more. Thank you friend.

I want more mystery in my life though. I want to talk to more strangers. Thats something I've always wanted. Meet someone new every day. Most of the time I think its because I'm afraid of what I might learn. Or afraid of myself. Something makes me afraid sometimes. So I just shrug my shoulders and move on. But when I do take that chance, and talk to someone instead of staying silent. Most of the time its such an amazing thing and I meet someone new and learn something new. There's no possible negative, yet for some reason I am still sometimes afriad. I need to shurg my shoulders and not turn away from it but turn toward it. Face it head on and go for it. Thats the only way i'll meet new people.

Love is such an amazing thing. Its so powerful. I can't imagine wanting to erase someone or a memory from my mind though. I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasnt for all of my memories. Everything happens for a reason. Every moment of our lives has a point to it.

God I love life. I want to share each and every happy moment with each and every person and some how all work together and each of us shares happy moments together. At least share the happy moments with unhappy people. I dont know if I could handle other peoples happy moments, because it might over whelm me. To much happiness can be a bad thing. So that would be a bad idea. But people who are sad or just lonely. I want to share my happy moments with them. Some how. And show them that they can be happy too.

you see this woman woke me up
at a quarter to three and I didn't
know it then but she put a spell on
me said I had to go down to where
the cliffs meet the sea and meet an
old man to present my plea
so I headed way down to the big pier
to await and confront my big fear
I wheeled around behind to my
blindside to find an old man with a
lime and a kind eye
said mister, mister with your beard so long
wont you be a saint and tell me
just where I'm going
he pointed to a conk shell and then
to the lime and said this is all
I really need to get by


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